AndromedHa

Archive for September 2012

It’s been a week since Honey passed away. Yes, it happened so quick, in fact within 24 hours my world changed around. Last Friday after work, I visited Honey at the animal hospital. I could see that she was so happy to see me. As soon as I entered the room, she wanted to jumped from the nurse who held her. When the nurse put her on the table, she immediately run and stood up against my chest wanted me to hold her. I played for sometime with her and held her before I went home. That night, I was super happy since I thought my baby was going to go home soon!

Saturday morning…. I was in the bank when I received a call from the vet. He said Honey was limping. She dragged her right foot when she walked. My heart dropped but still I had hope for her since she was very healthy last night. I rushed to the hospital and met her. When the doctor gave her to me, I had a very bad vibe. Honey could barely walk! As soon as she saw me, she wanted to stood up but she couldn’t. I cried and cried. She was just helpless and I couldn’t believe that within 24 hours everything went downhill! I was angry and mad. Me and my husband spent about an hour in the room with Honey. We tried to find some answers to what happened to her in the last 24 hours that made her so sick. But all the efforts just seemed to make me more anxious. I couldn’t breathe and think anymore so we decided to take Honey home.

I’d never seen Honey so quiet before. Even in the car, I didn’t put her in her carrier. I just held her in my arms and she just stayed still. At home, I just sat in front of TV with her in my arms. She tried to walk couple times but then it seemed that her other foot got weaker too, so she gave up. When I put her in her cage, she just stayed still, barely moved at all! When I tried to force-feed her, she spitted all the food and didn’t want to drink too. Around 2 pm, I held her in my arms and watched TV. Eat, Pray, Love was happened to be on TV. For the full 2 hours, we watched that and Honey seemed to sit comfortable on my chest.

After the movie, I took a nap and I had a dream where me and my husband visited a huge dome shaped hospital to take Honey home. All the residents there wore white clothes. I didn’t remember the detail but at the end of my dream there were 2 little boys holding one rabbit each. One was holding Honey and the other boy was holding a smaller rabbit. They gave both rabbit to me and said that Honey could go home with the other rabbit since the other rabbit only wanted to play with Honey. And they also warned me that Honey could be a little aggressive since she bit the other rabbit earlier but she seemed to enjoy the company. I was woken up by my brother calling me that Honey ate a little piece of cantaloupe that he gave her. My heart swelled a bit and I thought maybe it was all positive signs that Honey would get better.

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I got a devastating news last week. I started last Tuesday when I had tendonitis. I just happened to notice that Honey, my rabbit, wasn’t eating as much. Even when I let her out of her cage, she just sit still and seemed so weak (she usually run around and around and around when I let her out). First, I thought she was just sleepy but then on Wednesday, she was weaker. She wouldn’t lick my finger and didn’t touch her food at all – even her treat! On Friday, lucky that my brother came home from school early, I brought her to the vet. The first doctor who saw her was not her regular doctor. It seemed that he was a bit clueless. He said that it might have to do with Gastro Intestinal Problem – which she had the same thing a year ago. I refused to let Honey stay at the hospital since I am very confident that I can force-feed her and give her medication (even though I have to wake 2 am in the morning). But then this first doctor consulted her problem with Honey’s regular doctor. After the second exam, it seemed that she had some lumps in her abdomen. This doctor then recommended me to let Honey stay at the hospital for the weekend and see if it’s GI problem or other things.

On the weekend, I called the hospital everyday. And it seemed that Honey still didn’t want to eat the alfalfa. Fast forward to today, Monday. I was hoping that I could pick her up to go home. But instead, the doctor showed me the X-ray of her abdomen. I could see there were one or maybe several lumps at her lower abdomen and it started to calcify. The doctor recommended that she needs surgery to see what the lump is. It might be uterine tumor or worst, cancer :S I visited Honey at her kennel today. She seems weak and might lose some weight. She was jumpy too since there was a dog barking from another room. I gave her carrot and treat that I brought from home. She ate one carrot and it made my heart a bit at ease. At least she still wants to eat something.

Tomorrow is Honey’s surgery. There’s 50:50 chance that she might or might not wake up from anaesthesia. I’ve been crying the whole weekend. Even yesterday when I cut some carrots for dinner, this little thing reminds me of Honey – how she always jumps around when she smells the carrot bits that I bring to her. My heart is torn. If I refuse to do the surgery, she won’t eat anyway. On the other hand, those 50% chance that she might not wake up frightens me to death. I keep assuring myself that Honey IS a SURVIVOR. Since she was born, she is the only one who survive until now – all 3 other siblings were dead since her mom refused to nurse them. Also, 2 weeks ago, she survived the anaesthesia from her toe amputation. Oh God! Please please let her wake up tomorrow. I know tonight and tomorrow will be the longest day of my life. I might not be sleeping tonight like yesterday since all I can see and think whenever I close my eyes is HONEY.

While driving to work & to the vet today, so many questions popped in my head. Am I a good enough mom for Honey? I should’ve let her out more often or I should’ve spent more time to play with her or I should’ve taken more pictures of her. I just don’t want to think that today is my last time seeing her. I want to be optimist that she WILL DEFINITELY survive the surgery tomorrow! Sometimes, I think why there’s always be this moment where everything is uncertain. Even my hubby said that I worry too much for such a pet. But then, Honey is NOT just a pet. She’s the first living thing that makes me feel like I have something to protect, take care, and always love. People may think I’m a bit crazy to love a rabbit that much. But for me, Honey is something that I give my heart out but I never expect the love back (well, I’m pretty sure she loves me too).

As for now, I know it’s hopeless to cry at uncertainties. I just pray that God still gives me a chance to make Honey happy one last time. Please Honey, be strong for me…. There’re lots of people who love you too.

With love and lots of pray,

M.a.J

Wow…. It’s been 6 months since I wrote my last blog. In 6 months, a LOT had changed for me! Some are good but few are not so good. The bad news first: while I’m writing this blog, I’m in a mild pain since I sprained my right ankle this morning – just when I woke up! I hate being home alone (well, Honey – my rabbit – is by my side now) and feel powerless. I put some ointment, ice, wrapped around it but it still hurts…. On the plus side, I now have time to update my blog hahahha… Another not-so-good news is that Honey lost one of her toes last month. It was all started with a broken nail. I thought it was nothing serious as she broke her nails couple times in the past. The following day, the toe where the nail broke was swollen red. I never saw anything that big on her before. Immediately, I called up her vet and set an appointment. After going back and forth twice and gave Honey oral antibiotics for 3 weeks (and believe me, it was as hard as giving medicine to a baby! Honey struggled, jumped off, and scratched me couple time….), I decided that Honey needed a toe amputation since the vet said that her bone was already infected. August 29 was the longest day of my life! I dropped Honey off at the vet at 7.30 am and the nurse said that the vet would call me at around 2 pm. That day, I probably looked at the clock hundreds time and was super anxious waiting for the vet’s call. Well, 2 pm passed by and no phone call. I was getting worried. Luckily, it was busy at work and at around 3 pm the vet called. She said everything went well and Honey was in stable condition. I felt relieved as if there was a big load lifted from my shoulder. Now, she’s in the recovery mode. The wound heals perfectly but her right foot still looks weird since it has no fur on it….

 

 

Poor little Honey

Now, into the good stuffs! The biggest thing is that I’m now officially married! 😀 Super happy that finally I can have a perfect wedding. The theme was inspired by UP movie. For me that animation was the sweetest love story ever told. Why do I pick that theme? Well, there are lots of similarities between us and the movie (this is totally my opinion…). Ellie is the adventurous girl who always an optimist and has a big dream ~ me: always want to try new & weird stuff (food, especially) and dream to travel around the world. While Carl is a stubborn yet gentle man who loves his wife until the end ~ my hubby: yeah, he sometimes annoys me with his stubbornness but whenever I need a support, he gives it 1000% and always loves me although I’m wrong 🙂 Plus, the balloons and the colorfulness in the movie really caught my eyes. Hm… I won’t go into details about my wedding since I know it will bore you. I’ll dedicate an entry for my wedding in later days.

Picture by RedFlash Photography

Moving on, we’re now living in our own house! After 9 years living in an apartment, it was a huge different for me and my hubby. We now have to maintain our own house to keep it tidy and everything works perfectly. Well, thanks to youtube and google. I’m now proud to say that my hubby is able to fix our own leaking faucet, fixing wood fences, and mow our lawn hahaha… It was really a FUN learning process for both of us! When we first bought the house, the backyard was a mess. Lots of big trees with lots of leaves made them so scary at night. Luckily, when my dad came here for our wedding, he chopped all the ugly tress and even did some landscaping which really brightens our backyard. Since then, my hubby got infected by ‘gardening virus’ from my dad. We made a Square Foot Garden and planted some veggie & flower seed to them. Although it’s almost fall here, we’re hoping we can harvest some of it before winter came. Our tomato plants have some little fruits now and the apples are getting big and red day by day! We’re beyond excited! 😀

Our Square Foot Garden (box was made by hubby!)

Being a wife is a bit shock to me. There’re lots of things that need to be discussed together before we each make decision, especially about finance. As we have this big amount of mortgage for our house, we have to be extra careful on how we spend our money. This means we have to reduce our frequency to eat out and buy personal unnecessary things. Anyway, I find a joy in baking now. I’ve been making dessert at least once a week. Some are good (tiramisu, strawberry mousse cake, blueberry cobbler) but sometimes it failed (i.e. macaron- so damn hard!). Thanks to my coworker who gave us a Kitchen Aid mixer that I’d been dreaming for the past year. I feel challenged to try as many recipe as I can. Pinterest helps too… Whenever I saw a pretty dessert, I always want to try it (wish I had more spare time).

My First Homemade Tiramisu (recipe here)

As a newlywed, people always ask 2 things: how’s married life and are you having a baby soon? At first these questions annoy me as we don’t know how to answer it. Honestly, will you tell your not-so-close friend about your struggle as a newly married couple? For me, I’m not too comfortable with telling all my problems with them. Anyway, not that our marriage has a big trouble already but I think it takes time to adjust from being single to being married. One thing for sure, I’m way happier as a married woman who wakes up everyday with my lovely hubby by my side. As for baby… Hm… we have no plan or anything. We let whatever happen happens.

Anyway that’s the update from me. Lots of things for the blog: my wedding, our short trip to Toronto, my gardening, etc. Hope I have time to write…. Until next time!

M.a.J


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